“What to expect at your first table?”
Welcome to Table 11! We’re so excited for you to join us at your first table.
We know it can be daunting taking that first step to joining your first Table 11 table… we were all in your shoes once ourselves! So we put together some key points that will hopefully give you a bit more context about your experience before you attend and also to help guide how tables operate, to ensure it is a safe, comfortable space for all to share their grief journey.
Your table host will ensure these points are reiterated at the start of each gathering, too.
1) Everything spoken and shared is 100% confidential – this is one of the most important parts of Table 11. We want the space to be secure for people to share their feelings, so all guests agree that nothing will be shared outside of the four walls. This allows everyone to feel confident and safe in sharing their story and feelings, which is vital.
2) This is a safe space – visiting a new person’s home can also be daunting, particularly when you may not know anyone there! The hosts of the table will be available to meet one-to-one prior to your first table either on Zoom or in person, so you will know who’s table you are joining
3) There is no judgement – at Table 11, we foster an inclusive and diverse environment and also express that no-one has any judgement on other guests' views or lives. Everyone experiences grief differently and our own grief journeys are unique to each of us, which is why we encourage open discussions without fear of judgement.
4) We do not give advice – Table 11 is a space for people to talk and others to listen. We are not therapists or counsellors and again, each journey is different. Table 11 is not designed to advise on personal situations, it is there to share in the grief journey and to help others feel less alone.
5) This is not a networking environment – Table 11 is about sharing in our grief, not in what we do (or don’t do!) for a living. We don’t ask people about their careers or talk about professional elements and companies we work with or for. If guests wish to, and it is within the context of their grief journey/the larger conversation, they are free to offer that information, but let’s not ask what people do for a living or where they work.
6) No photos are taken without express permission – with the ease of sharing photos online, we appreciate not everyone wants the world knowing that they are grieving or are part of a grief community, or just generally do not want their photo shared without their knowledge or permission. It is everyone’s right to anonymity if they wish, so no photos of faces are taken without gaining permission first. Feel free to photograph the food and share however, and tag us if you’d like to!
7) We want you to feel comfortable – if at any point during your table you feel uncomfortable or don’t feel like the table abides by the expectations above, the Table 11 Co-Founders are all available if you wish to reach out and express your concerns. We want you to feel comfortable and confident that you have the space to share your grief. Of course, you are also free to leave at any time.
8) We show up on time - delays are inevitable, but please do your best to be on time for your Table as it means that we can start and respect everyone else’s time. Tables usually last 2.5 hours, so when folks are late we are eating into the time we get to spend together, sharing our stories. If you are going to be late, please let your host know!
9) It is ok to ask questions - do not be afraid to ask others questions, if they wish to share they will or they will politely decline. But don’t be afraid to show your interest and ask questions.
10) Don’t be afraid to cry - we cry, we laugh, we cry some more…each host has tissues ready and we will all cry at some point, so feel free to express your feelings
11) Be kind to yourself - it is a hard journey we are all on. After your first table, you may find you are fatigued as it is a lot of emotions to deal with, so make sure to take some time for you!